Infertility is one of the most stressful situations that any couple must deal with. Even treatments for it can contribute to the stress that the cou...
Infertility is one of the most stressful situations that any couple must deal with. Even treatments for it can contribute to the stress that the couple goes through. In addition, the irony is that couples that realize that they themselves are stressed can further worsen their infertility thanks to this realization!
What are the various reasons behind infertility stress?
Firstly, it can start from being initially diagnosed as being infertile. After having sex for many months or up to a year, the woman can’t get pregnant. The couple became frustrated and seek the advice of a fertility specialist. One or both could very well end up feeling depressed and inadequate when the specialist diagnoses either partner or both in some cases as being infertile,
Secondly, further stress can be added to the couple who has decided to undergo infertility treatments. Such treatments can prove exceedingly and prohibitively expensive depending on the treatments required.
And the process itself of having to go in and out of doctors’ waiting rooms and hospitals, among other places, waiting with bated breath for results can surely add more stress on top of the existing stress,
Thirdly, the stress can come from the lovemaking itself. Many couples cannot accept the fact that they are unable to have children normally.This can make things very hard for them. As they are unable to consummate the sexual act, they may have to make recourse to more medical assistance.
Also having sex might become unenjoyable and a chore for the couple as they would have to be doing it according to a schedule with the pressure of producing children. It is no longer about enjoying each other and having a pleasure time.
In addition, having to undergo fertility treatments may be even more demeaning for men, who may very well feel emasculated and feel that they are responsible if they are unable to produce babies with their wives. Plus it may prove extremely embarrassing to have to produce semen in doctors’ offices, for instance – or to have other people aside from their wives learn that they have low sperm count or, worse, erectile problems.
How the couple responds to such stress in the first place is extremely important. Some can simply take it in stride and be positive even in the face of potential failure; others can be negative right at the outset even if the future for them might not be so bleak, and immediately contemplate having to adopt children while agonizing over how unfair things seem to be, and so on and so forth. This can result in the couples and individuals having a low self-esteem.
Many couples end up going through extreme strain due to infertility. Some couples buckle under this strain, and many of them end up breaking up. Others, though, end up learning from this experience and end up stronger couples.
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A break up can leave you feeling like only half the person you were in your relationship, with no memory of how you were beforehand. Many people want to start to help heal their broken heart, but find that they just can’t manage to stop crying.
The worst part about having a broken heart is certainly the pain that it causes. The pain caused by a broken heart is often so bad that it feels like it will never end. In the moments after a break up, it can certainly feel like you will never be your old self ever again.
If you feel like you just can’t stop crying or thinking about your ex, then chances are high that you are being affected by a classic case of the “broken heart syndrome.” We’ve all been there, and none of us like it, but if you’re currently broken hearted, you need to do something about it!
You want to avoid behaving recklessly and doing things that you would not do were your heart not broken. Men will often do things such as try to figure out how to , while women will commonly hook up with a stranger or a friend who they would not under normal circumstances. You want to avoid this impulsive behavior and not do anything in your vulnerable state that you will regret later.
Instead of trying so hard to get over your ex, focus on things that make you happy. That really is the key to getting over a broken heart more quickly. You see, if you’re constantly thinking about getting over your ex, you will only be thinking about then more and more. Just forgetting someone who you spent a lot of time with in an instant is an unrealistic goal.
People get over their break up pain and their broken hearts in all sorts of different ways. Not everyone stays broken up forever, either; some people go for the “rebound relationship” and make up and break up over and over again, while others live happily ever after with or without their ex. No matter what happens, though, happiness will find a way to shine through the darkness and heal your broken heart.
Many people find themselves in this situation because they cheated on their ex. You can get your ex back even if you cheated on them. Take a look at this:
The pain that results from a split up is completely miserable. On a personal level, I have experienced a fair amount of pain due to split ups, and I truly would prefer a dangerous surgical procedure to feeling that way again. In a lot of cases where the pain is that intense, it’s simply our body’s way of letting us know that we want to get back together with our exes. This column is going to provide you with a bit of advice if you have been thinking about trying to persuade your ex boyfriend to return to you.
The majority of women must do something that will appear to be the opposite of what is necessary, and that is to put a halt to your preparations (if you have made some), slow down your thinking, and look at your options. Unfortunately, a lot of women take reckless actions once a split up occurs, which only causes their boyfriends to become even more distant. If you really want to save your relationship, you need to make sure you don’t create any additional issues.
Before I go into further detail, allow me to give you some words of encouragement. You are clearly an attractive, desirable, and capable woman, because your boyfriend wanted to be with you and only you for a period of time. You have it within you to capture his heart all over again.
Since most women are able to intuitively sense emotions that men typically can’t, the following piece of advice should be fairly easy to grasp and implement.
Too many people try and change someone’s emotional state (how they feel) with reasoning or words (logic). As a woman, you probably already understand that this is not the proper way to change how someone feels, but a reminder can’t hurt. Your boyfriend broke up with you because of purely emotional factors. You need to remember that, and focus on changing the way he feels… and not the way he thinks.
No matter what your ex boyfriend is telling you for why he wanted to break up, you must remember that these are logical reasons and are therefore unrelated to the way he feels. Men and women both act based on their emotions, and any logical reasons that your ex may give you are only excuses! Don’t put too much weight into what your ex boyfriend is telling you, as his reasons are cover ups for his emotions and will only confuse you!
That’s enough talk about all of the things that you shouldn’t do. Let’s talk about what you can do to persuade your boyfriend to come back to you. The key is to understand how a man’s mind really works. Only then will the real reason that your boyfriend left you become clear. When you understand what makes a man tick, you can change his feelings in any way you wish.
The good news is that you’ve already applied some of these principles, or your boyfriend never would have been attracted to you to begin with. You just need to learn how to amplify your natural feminine appeal, and your boyfriend will be crazy about you all over again. Just like he was in the beginning.
If you want some step by step guides to help you reunite with your boyfriend, give these a try: . For married women, this should fit the bill nicely:
How would you like four great ideas to make your dates and love life even more special?
The really romantic date — What is the most romantic date you can think of? Now be creative and really make it happen.
How about trying a picnic with candles on top of a mountain or next to a quiet and peaceful lake. Or maybe it is time for a dressed to the nines night out at the ballet, together with dinner at a great restaurant.
Perhaps you should actually imagine two dates, especially if your partner’s idea of a dream date is different than your own. That way you get to fulfill both of your dreams.
The cheap date that works — You know money isn’t everything and sometimes it just gets in the way of having a good time. What are all the fun things you can think of that cost absolutely nothing to do? Now just go out and do some of them and all without any money worries.
Money can’t buy everything and sometimes it can’t even buy a great date. It is really spending time with your partner that you are both after.
Max out the senses — Spend time together in a hot tub and give each other one of those perfect massages complete with scented oil and candles.
Or even better, why not visit a spa with your partner. Get side-by-side massages. Jump in the hot tub together. Then go out for chocolates, champagne and whatever else tickles your taste buds.
Dating and dreaming — Choose your favorite place with a great view … maybe a restaurant at the top of a skyscraper, or a lakeside spot in a beautiful park.
Paper and pencil will come in handy, because you are going to write plans for the future. Use the inspiration of this place to visualize your future together.
Take that vision of the future and make some concrete goals for yourself, your partner and your relationship. You will be surprised at how looking into the future can make the present so much more intimate.
There you have it. Four dates that will turn your partner’s head and make your lives more romantic. Try them on for size and see what happens.
Gary Graysun loves helping couples build relationships. He also enjoys helping people economize. For some of his recent money saving ideas on insurance visit his websites on and .
“It feels like I’m lying on thumb tacks,” I tell my husband as he crawls into bed beside me. “But there is nothing there! I feel so bruised.”
“I’m sorry,” he offers with a sympathetic voice, but there is little else he can do.
“I feel a little nauseous tonight too,” I respond. “I wonder if I should eat some crackers or something. . . or if that would just upset my stomach more. It has to be the medications. It will probably pass soon.” Before I can finish my sentence he is already asleep.
Most of us have a spouse who we would call our dearest friend. If our relationship is a good one, it is natural to want to share what we are experiencing with them. If our relationship is on the bumpy side, we may think that if he could just understand the daily pain we live with a bit better, maybe it would explain our moodiness, and in fact, bring us closer together emotionally.
I’ve never met anyone who desired to be a burden to their loved ones, but it’s natural to want to talk about the invisible pain we are going through. When we are hurting we want those who care about us the most to have some idea of what our daily reality is and by talking about our pain, it makes it “real.” It’s no longer something “all in our head” but rather it becomes validated.
Galatians 6:2 tells us “Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” At some point we must carry these burdens to the Lord, as well as a close friend, rather than just count on our spouse to carry the burden of listening about each ache.
Although your spouse may not be suffering from a physical ailment, there are still many losses that he is grieving. For example, it is an emotional thing to watch someone you love be in pain and not be able to fix it. He may be suffering as he watches you lose the ability to do things you love. He likely misses the couple outings you once took together when you could do physically active events, whether it was skiing, or just taking long walks together on the beach. He may be frustrated that even his hugs can cause you to wince. Counselors have found that there are three major areas where marriages suffer: money, time and physical intimacy.
Your marriage may be having difficulties in all three, specifically because of the role chronic illness has taken on within your marriage. Is it possible to “share our burdens” with our spouse without overburdening him and making him want to run the other way every time we open our mouth to share another symptom of our ailments?
Consider your spouse your partner and the illness the third party
It’s easy to think of you and your illness “up against” your spouse, but the illness should be the third party, not your spouse. Although you will often feel that your spouse is merely a spectator to the pain you are in, he is feeling his own kind of pain due to your illness. Make him a part of fighting this battle to have the life you want to have in a way that he is comfortable with.
Gently educate your spouse on your illness. Allow his presence at doctor’s visits and provide answers to his questions about your illness, especially when you are first receiving a diagnosis. If he is not much of a reader, instead of handing him the five books you’ve read, give him a brochure or find some podcasts that may be helpful for him to listen to. Acknowledge that your roles or responsibilities may be changing. If you are unable to scrub the bathroom tub any longer, don’t avoid talking about it while the grime grows in there! Instead, be honest about your limitations and decide together how to accomplish all the tasks or household chores.
Connie Kennemer who lives with multiple sclerosis shares, “I am not as mobile as I used to be and often ask more of my husband. ‘Can you work at home this afternoon? Why do you have to go to another meeting?’ etc. How much should he accommodate me because my body is changing? He doesn’t always know when to stop and encourage me to try things myself. This is a constant challenge.”
Be reasonable in your expectations
It is quite common that we end up marrying someone who has the opposite personality style as we do. You may want to talk about your illness a great deal and read books of information on it. You may sign up for all the support group meetings to have a chance to talk about it and make new friends that you have your illness in common with. If your spouse doesn’t read the books or want to accompany you to your meetings, remember that it is not because he doesn’t care, but likely because he is dealing with the diagnosis in his own way within his own personality style.
On the other hand, maybe you take things as they come and don’t want to get on the internet and read every detail about the symptoms you may have. Your spouse may wonder why you aren’t more interested in finding out how to best treat (and even cure) this disease. He may go as far as to accuse you of being in denial about your illness. He may want to see you be more passionate about being healed than you are. A wonderful book that will help you smooth out some of your communication is “Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti” by Bill and Pam Farrell.
Have information about your illness available for when he is ready
Sometimes we can just talk in circles about our pain and illness, never really getting to anything specific or a topic that can help our marriage grow. Perhaps one of the most effective tools to share something is to place sticky notes on pages of a books you’d like him to review with comments about topics you’d like to discuss. You can hand it to him and say, “There is a great example in this book about what we are experiencing right now. Would you be willing to read it and then maybe we can talk about it later?” Shares Connie, “After ten years of living with MS, I am past the whiney stage, but Rex sometimes holds back; that’s when I need to ask him more questions about his feelings.”
Creatively keep him informed about the embarrassing parts of the illness
If your illness is going to cause you to be in the bathroom during eighty percent of the events you attend together, you need to let your spouse know that this is part of the disease. Health organizations have brochures on symptoms. You can say, “I’m dealing with some personal matters of this illness right now; I don’t really want to talk about them yet, but they’re in this brochure if you’re wondering.” Avoid sharing every detail if you can.
Look for other ways to vent besides your spouse’s shoulder
“I realized that I held onto all of my frustrations of pain during the day and then ‘threw’ them at my husband as he came in the door,” shares Cheryl, who lives with chronic fatigue syndrome. “My actions set the tone for our entire evening and even though I felt better, he felt worse, and it lasted all night. He was beginning to dread coming home at night.”
Cheryl began to put aside the last two hours of her day to spend time writing in her journal, praying and doing something she enjoyed that calmed her. “Writing in my journal gave me the chance to express my frustrations, and then prayer really began to minimize the negativity too. My husband quickly noticed a difference and it’s made our relationship so much stronger.”
Develop interests and hobbies
Too often we talk about our illness because it’s the only thing going on in our lives. Volunteer to be on a prayer chain, write that book you’ve been meaning to write, or get involved in a scrapbook club and start putting together albums for your grandchildren. You’ll find even you aren’t as interested in talking about your illness when you have more interesting things to share.
Conclusion
So, the question remains: how much talk is too much? Unfortunately, there is not a perfect answer that applies to everyone. It’s different for each person and each marriage. Learn to be objective. Honestly ask yourself, “How often am I bringing up my illness? How do I benefit from talking about it more often than necessary? Do I need validation? Understanding? Actual physical help with tasks around the house?” If you want attention from your spouse and this seems to be the only way to get it, admit that to yourself! How can you get some of these needs filled by God instead of your spouse? How is it negatively impacting your life, or those around you, by discussing it all the time?
And then take a moment to really ask yourself “Is there a better, more creative way that I can create intimacy with my spouse, other than just complaining about each ache and pain? What activities can I still share that could help us grow closer together?”
And then when you want to share about your pain, send up a prayer to the Lord beforehand: “Lord, I don’t want to burden anyone else with something they can’t fix, and I really need a hug from you right now. I know how much my spouse cares about me; please give me the wisdom to know when to ask for help and comfort from him/her and when to come only to You and ask you to fulfill all of my emotional needs.”
Don’t miss other articles and overall support while living with chronic illness or pain visit Rest Ministries so you don’t miss our and be entered for our monthly giveaway. Lisa Copen is the director of Rest Ministries, author of 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend” and founder behind National Invisible chronic illness Awareness Week.
categories: chronic illness,marriage,husband,wife,spouse,chronic pain,sickness and health,communication,marriage and family,health,marriage and family,relationships,health,diseases and conditions
The problems many couple have trying for a child are becoming more commonplace but this still something that is not talked about generally. Couples feel helpless and isolated when they learn that they have little chance of conceiving and while this is not necessarily a disease, this disorder can cause the same amount of stress and dismay for both partners.
Unfortunately male infertility is also on the increase and creates its own problems with male pride it is important to know more about the subject to avoid some of the popular misconceptions. So if you are made aware of the possible options available then it is possible to assess the situation and decide on a course of action.
The definition of infertility is the inability of a couple to conceive after trying for one year and infertility for women is the inability to deliver a baby to full term. Male infertility is generally connected with hormonal disorders, obstruction in the reproductive system, sexual dysfunction, or recurring illness and is actually the state of inability rather than a specific disease. To find out why a man is infertile, it is now common practice to look closely at his family history and current lifestyle habits, however even if the cause is found it is a sad fact that approximately fifty percent of men will remain infertile.
The causes of male infertility can be categorized into two, which are congenital condition and acquired condition. Acquired male infertility is something that may happen through an event or lifestyle change for example but congenital male infertility would mean it has been there since birth.
Treatment involving radiation therapy can cause male sterility as can other medication for high blood pressure for instance but other conditions such as diabetes and sexually transmitted diseases can also cause the problem. There are other times where male infertility could be the result of situations where he is laid up like those where a high fever is involved, a serious infection or kidney conditions for instance.
Where the male sperm is underdeveloped it may as a result of low amounts of testosterone which is responsible for the growth of the male sex organs. Over the years the methods fertility specialists have developed has been refined and now the causes of infertility in a couple starts with the male as it is easier to look for inconsistencies in the male’s reproductive system than in a female’s reproductive system.
Initially the fertility specialist will ask the man questions about his family’s medical history to see if there is any indication that the infertility is of congenital origin. This makes recommending possible treatments much simpler as they each treat different conditions and with male infertility this means that there is an improved chance of successfully curing the infertility problem.
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Male infertility is a condition that CAN be helped and overcome with the right strategies. We have found an amazing method to and motility via an all natural supplement called: Semenax.
Men often become hurt and resentful when their wife declines an intimate pass that they put out. This frustration can easily become the main cause of any marriage problems they are facing. This is because the man takes it as a sign of rejection and that his wife is no longer in love with him.
A sexual relationship is viewed very differently by a man and a woman. For men, it is a way of showing his wife that they love her and she loves him in return. Many men feel that this is the only true way to let your spouse know how you feel about each other, however women believe in something completely different.
It is true that most women want to please their man and want to show him how much love she has for him. But they don’t show love just by having sex. They show it by doing nice things for the man, and sex is just something extra when they’re in the mood.
It should be acknowledged that most women don’t know that men use sex as a measurement for their love. The man should not be afraid to tell her this. When she repeatedly rejects sex by not being in the mood, the man should clearly let her know of his feelings of rejection and hurt. Opening up is a good thing, and can help matters greatly.
When the woman declines to have sex with the man, she is simply declining because she isn’t in the mood, and for her it likely has little to do with love. Women really don’t have a clue of the ramifications this causes. The man should always let her know how it makes him feel. This will contribute to a stronger relationship and marriage.
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Go to at www.lightyourfire.com today to learn more about how to avoid . We have tips and wonderful advice for everyone to read.
Marriage turns sour and marital affairs do not end with a failed marriage. It always takes two people to form such union, and takes the same people to fail at said relationship. The tragic drama lies in some underlying factors which manifest in such a relationship. Having an affair is something that happens between two people and this is a special relationship that may develop even deeper.
An unhappy marriage can rock the entire cosmos and this becomes too hard for one who wants to get out but cannot due to some traditions. By understanding the motivations behind the affair, an unexpected severance can be easily healed. Rebuilding ones personal well-being may not be difficult for some rational beings though it takes time to erase a scarred spirit. Relationships come and go but it is truly different if marital affairs are involved.
It is too difficult for a couple to maintain a public image of being married just to please society where they belong. Society can sometimes be cruel and one who is trapped in an intolerable union by reason of a legal impediment will have to become a prisoner by personal choice for fear of being ostracized. But the show must go on and a display of public affection though a bit awkward may often be made. This is nothing but utter hypocrisy!
In a marital union where one or both of the parties have unmet needs and unexpressed desires intimacy may not exist and a sexual detour is likely to manifest. Normally, it is the male who initiates the break up and the poor wife has to hang on for the sake of the children and the marriage itself. Mens behaviors are often hard to decode and marital affairs are influenced by their actuations. An affair can help a marriage if one can comprehend its implications at its deepest degree.
A real marriage in the truest sense of the word may begin if the married people have come to realize the effects of such outside relationship and decide to let bygones be bygones and pledge to give love a second chance. As they say: Love is lovelier the second time around. This second chance can be the commencement of real and deep espousal reunion. Extra-marital affairs can develop hidden from the prying eyes of the critical public while revolting private issues may seem outwardly smooth to resume marital affairs.
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regardless of its degree do not always end with failed marriage. But it can be so destructive at one point thus it really is worth the effort to know some underlying factors involving it. If you wish to know more about this, simply visit
If you are a dog owner, you will know that some barking can be expected. However, there is a fine line between normal barking and excessive barking. Excessive barking is when your dog is barking all day, or barking long past what is classed normal. A Dog bark collar is a great way, especially if you are away from home a lot and its when youre away from home that your dog barks.
A static dog bark collar is one of the two main dog bark collars out there on the market. A static collar does not have electricity in it so it will never hurt your dog or send them whimpering off into the corner. There is a little box attached to the collar that emits a vibration when your dog barks. This is activated by your dogs back and the vibration of his voice box, so there is no chance of another dog setting off your dogs barking collar.
A Citronella dog bark collar is the other main type of collar. This is a great option if you really do not want to use or if you do not like the idea of the static dog bark collar. Dogs really hate the smell of citronella, and when he or she barks, the dog bark collar sprays a burst of citronella near the dogs face and the dog will soon learn what happens when he or she barks.
Boredom, excitement and anxiety are just some of the hundreds of reasons your dog will bark. You can easily train your dog to stop barking, that will require your time and a lot of patients. It is especially hard when your dog is only barking when you are not home. You can not really correct your dogs barking if you are not home to witness it. Thats where a dog bark collar comes in handy. It will quickly train your dog to stop barking even when you are not there to stop him or her.
Are you tired of your neighbors complaining about your dog? Chances are they are tried of complaining. Getting on with your neighbors is a must, especially if you have a barking dog that just will not stop. Many dogs are taken away from their families each and every day, all because of their barking. You can avoid this by investing in a dog barking collar that will train your dog fast to stop barking.
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This is a trick Ive tried and tested repeatedly, it works like a charm. I almost hate to share it – but here it is anyway visit . Do NOT let your neighbors decide your dogs Fate visit: